


Usurped

by LostCauses (Anteros)



Series: MeatBoy Fic Universe [6]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, MFU, Roombas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:13:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24311098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anteros/pseuds/LostCauses
Summary: Erwin begins to regret his brilliant idea of buying his husband a Roomba to help with the cleaning...
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Series: MeatBoy Fic Universe [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1755034
Comments: 13
Kudos: 182





	Usurped

**Author's Note:**

> From an Anon ask on tumblr: 
> 
> Hey, Lost. What do you think would be Levi's opinion on Roombas? Would he appreciate this machine going around sweeping his place or would he think that he would do a better job if he does it himself? This question has been bothering me a while.

The Roomba was Erwin’s idea. _Of course it was._

“Look Levi,” he said one morning, holding his phone across the breakfast table, “we should get one of these!”

Levi squinted at the video of a bored looking cat spinning around a kitchen on top of a Roomba. 

“A cat? You know I’m allergic.”

“No, not a cat, a Roomba!”

“We don’t need a fucking Roomba Erwin.” 

“But they’re really cool! And it would help you with the cleaning,” Erwin reasoned. 

“They’re not cool, and I don’t need help with the cleaning Erwin. What I need is for you to stop leaving potato chip crumbs all over the fucking floor.” 

“If we had a Roomba you wouldn’t need to worry about crumbs!” Erwin looked far too pleased with himself.

“So you could eat chips to you heart’s content you mean? No fucking chance.” 

“Levi…” Erwin started, but Levi cut him off with a look that clearly stated _How the fuck did I end up married to such an idiot?_

No further mention was made of the gadget but Levi knew from experience that Erwin had a knack of getting his way once he set his mind to something, so he wasn’t entirely surprised when he opened his Christmas and Birthday presents six months later to find a shiny new Roomba alongside the beautiful cashmere sweater, Yunnan tea, and Marimekko tea pot.

Levi shook his head as he opened the unusual gift. “Erwin I thought I told you…” 

“I know darling, but think of all the time it’ll save.” Erwin’s eyes creased at the corner as he smiled. “Time we could be using for other things…” 

Levi rolled his eyes, but he didn’t object when his husband pulled him down onto the floor among the wrapping paper and ribbons beneath the Christmas tree. 

After Christmas, the Roomba was packed away in the cupboard along with all the other unused household appliances that Erwin has amassed over the years. Levi stubbornly ignored it and continued to clean using his favourite broom and an ancient vacuum cleaner, which he’d brought with him when he and Erwin had first moved in together, and which wouldn’t have been out of place in a museum. 

Several months later, in a rare fit of Spring cleaning, Erwin retrieved the forlorn gadget from the cupboard and set it to work. It was trundling around the lounge when Levi returned from the gym, he scowled at the machine as though it had personally offended him, stepped over it, muttering something about fucking trip hazards, and retreated to the kitchen. 

Thereafter, whenever Erwin set the little gadget to work, Levi always seemed to find something to complain about; either it missed a bit, or got stuck in the corner, left the rug wrinkled up, or swallowed something by accident. He even took to following it around the house with a dustpan and brush, sweeping up after it while muttering furiously. As his irritation increased, Erwin was beginning to wonder if his plan had backfired. 

However, one evening when Erwin returned from work a little earlier than usual, he was surprised to hear Levi’s voice from the lounge. 

“What the fuck are you doing under there?” 

Erwin recognised the tone of voice as the one his husband used whenever he had done something he disapproved of, like putting eggs in the kettle, or stemware in the dishwasher. Much as Erwin loved his husband, sometimes he was a little sad that Levi didn’t appreciate his ingenuity. 

“You’re stuck aren’t you? I told you not to go under there.” Levi continued, adding fondly, “Come here you idiot.”

Curiously, Erwin pushed open the door and was surprised to find Levi retrieving the Roomba from where it had got trapped under a cabinet. 

“Awwww Levi, you rescued it!” 

“What the fuck?” Levi whirled around. The liberated Roomba beeped happily as it trundled out from under the cabinet, bumping against Levi’s foot like an affectionate cat, before continuing on its way. 

“Well I couldn’t just leave it stuck in the corner whining like an brat could I?” Levi retorted, cheeks flaring scarlet. 

Levi gave up any pretense of ignoring the little robot after that, though he still had a tendency to follow it around the house, scolding it for missing bits and nudging it gently in the right direction to pick them up. 

“Not that way idiot. This way. Yes there. You got it.”

It wasn’t long before he christened the Roomba Izzy, after Isabel, “because it always gets under your feet and I end up having to rescue it from places it’s not supposed to be in the fucking first place.” 

“It really is the perfect pet for you isn’t it?” Erwin commented one day, as Levi was cleaning out the vacuum’s filter. “It doesn’t shed hair on the floor, use a litter tray, or make a mess.” 

“It doesn’t talk shit or drop crumbs on the floor either.” Levi retorted.

Erwin eyed the Roomba, he couldn’t help feeling a little jealous of the way it had usurped his husband’s affections. 

“Are you saying you’d trade me in for a vacuum cleaner?” he pouted. 

Levi rolled his eyes, as he closed the Roomba’s filter and set it back on the floor. 

“Oh for fuck sake.” Stepping forward he caught hold of his husband’s shirt and pulled him down until their lips met. “I guess you still have your uses,” he murmured as Erwin silenced his sarcasm with a kiss. 

Left to its own devices, the little Roomba made it’s way over to the base station on the far side of the room and wiggled its way into the dock, emitting a contented string of beeps as it reconnected. Preoccupied with reconnecting with each other, neither Erwin nor Levi paid it any heed.


End file.
